MARK:
Hi.
JOANNE:
I told her not to call you
MARK:
That's Maureen
But can I help since I'm here?
JOANNE:
I hired an engineer
MARK:
Great!
Well, nice to have met you
JOANNE:
Wait!
She's three hours late
The samples won't delay
But the cable--
MARK:
There's another way
Say something--anything
JOANNE:
Test--one, two, three...
MARK:
Anything but that
JOANNE:
This is weird
MARK:
It's weird
JOANNE:
Very weird
MARK:
Fuckin' weird
JOANNE:
I'm so mad
That I don't know what to do
Fighting with microphones
Freezing down to my bones
And to top it all off
I'm with you
MARK:
Feel like going insane?
Got a fire in your brain?
And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?
JOANNE:
As a matter of fact--
MARK:
Honey, I know this act
It's called the Tango Maureen
The Tango Maureen
It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round
As she keeps you dangling
JOANNE:
You're wrong
MARK:
Your heart she is mangling
JOANNE:
It's different with me
MARK:
And you toss and you turn
'Cause her cold eyes can burn
Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound
JOANNE:
I think I know what you mean
BOTH:
The Tango Maureen
MARK:
Has she ever
Pouted her lips
And called you 'Pookie'?
JOANNE:
Never
MARK:
Have you ever doubted a kiss or two
JOANNE:
This is spooky
Did you swoon
When she walked through the door
MARK:
Every time--so be cautious
JOANNE:
Did she moon over other boys?
MARK:
More than moon...
JOANNE:
I'm getting nauseous!
MARK: (spoken)
It's hard to do this backwards.
JOANNE: (spoken)
You should try it in heels!
(singing)
She cheated
MARK:
She cheated
JOANNE:
Maureen cheated
MARK:
Fuckin' cheated
JOANNE:
I'm defeated
I should give up right now
MARK:
Gotta look on the bright side
With all of your might
JOANNE:
I'd fall for her still anyhow
BOTH:
When you're dancing her dance
You don't stand a chance
Her grip of romance
Makes you fall
MARK:
So you think, 'Might as well'
JOANNE:
'Dance a tango to Hell'
BOTH:
'At least I'll have tangoed at all'
The Tango Maureen
Gotta dance 'til your diva is through
You pretend to believe her
'Cause in the end, you can't leave her
But the end it will come
Still you have to play dumb
'Til you're glum and you bum
And turn blue
MARK:
Why do we love when she's mean?
JOANNE:
And she can be so obscene
MARK:
Try the mike
JOANNE:
My Maureen (een, een, een...)
MARK:
Patched
JOANNE:
Thanks
MARK:
You know, I feel great now!
JOANNE:
I feel lousy
BOTH:
The Tango: Maureen!