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Tango: Maureen

JOANNE:
Mark?

MARK:
Hi.

JOANNE:
I told her not to call you

MARK:
That's Maureen
But can I help since I'm here?

JOANNE:
I hired an engineer

MARK:
Great!
Well, nice to have met you

JOANNE:
Wait!
She's three hours late

The samples won't delay
But the cable--

MARK:
There's another way
Say something--anything

JOANNE:
Test--one, two, three...

MARK:
Anything but that

JOANNE:
This is weird

MARK:
It's weird

JOANNE:
Very weird

MARK:
Fuckin' weird

JOANNE:
I'm so mad
That I don't know what to do
Fighting with microphones
Freezing down to my bones
And to top it all off
I'm with you

MARK:
Feel like going insane?
Got a fire in your brain?
And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?

JOANNE:
As a matter of fact--

MARK:
Honey, I know this act
It's called the Tango Maureen

The Tango Maureen
It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round
As she keeps you dangling

JOANNE:
You're wrong

MARK:
Your heart she is mangling

JOANNE:
It's different with me

MARK:
And you toss and you turn
'Cause her cold eyes can burn
Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound

JOANNE:
I think I know what you mean

BOTH:
The Tango Maureen

MARK:
Has she ever
Pouted her lips
And called you 'Pookie'?

JOANNE:
Never

MARK:
Have you ever doubted a kiss or two

JOANNE:
This is spooky
Did you swoon
When she walked through the door

MARK:
Every time--so be cautious

JOANNE:
Did she moon over other boys?

MARK:
More than moon...

JOANNE:
I'm getting nauseous!

MARK: (spoken)
It's hard to do this backwards.

JOANNE: (spoken)
You should try it in heels!

(singing)
She cheated

MARK:
She cheated

JOANNE:
Maureen cheated

MARK:
Fuckin' cheated

JOANNE:
I'm defeated
I should give up right now

MARK:
Gotta look on the bright side
With all of your might

JOANNE:
I'd fall for her still anyhow

BOTH:
When you're dancing her dance
You don't stand a chance
Her grip of romance
Makes you fall

MARK:
So you think, 'Might as well'

JOANNE:
'Dance a tango to Hell'

BOTH:
'At least I'll have tangoed at all'

The Tango Maureen
Gotta dance 'til your diva is through
You pretend to believe her
'Cause in the end, you can't leave her

But the end it will come
Still you have to play dumb
'Til you're glum and you bum
And turn blue

MARK:
Why do we love when she's mean?

JOANNE:
And she can be so obscene

MARK:
Try the mike

JOANNE:
My Maureen (een, een, een...)

MARK:
Patched

JOANNE:
Thanks

MARK:
You know, I feel great now!

JOANNE:
I feel lousy

BOTH:
The Tango: Maureen!

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