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Somewhere That's Green

I know Seymour's the greatest
But I'm dating a semi-sadist
So I've got a black eye
And my arm's in a cast
Still, that Seymour's a cutie
Well, if not, he's got inner beauty
And I dream of a place
Where we could be together at last

A matchbox of our own
A fence of real chain link
A grill out on the patio
Disposal in the sink
A washer and a dreyer and an ironing machine
In a tract house that we share
Somewhere that's green

He rakes and trims the grass
He loves to mow and weed
I cool like Betty Crocker
And I look like Donna Reed
There's plastic on our furniture
To keep it neat and clean
In the Pine-Sol scented air
Somewhere that's green
Between our frozen dinner
And our bedtime, nine-fifteen
We snuggle watching Lucy
On our big, enormous, twelve-inch screen

I'm his December bride
He's father, he knows best
Our kids watch Howdy Doody
As the sun sets in the west
A picture out of Better Homes and Gardens Magazine
Far from skid row
I dream we'll go
Somewhere that's green

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