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ORIN: (the lines in the parentheses are CRYSTAL, RONETTE AND CHIFFON)

When I was younger, just a bad little kid
My momma noticed funny things I did
Like shooting puppies with a B. B. gun
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head
That's when my momma said (What did she say?)
She said my boy I think someday
You'll find a way
To make your natural tendencies pay
You'll be a dentist
You have a talent for causing things pain
Son, be a dentist
People will pay you to be inhumane
Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist
You'll be a success

(spoken: Here he is, girls, the leader of the plaque. Watch him suck up that gas. Oh my God! He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good. Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sod? Oh that hurts! I'm not numb!) spoken: Oh shut up. Open wide. Here I come!

(singing)I am your dentist (goodness gracious)
And I enjoy the carreer that I picked
I am your dentist (fitting braces)
And I get off on the pain I inflict
When I start extracting those molars
You girls'll be screaming like Holy Rollers
And though it may cause my patients distress
Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me, I know, I know that my momma's proud of me
'Cause I'm a dentist--and a success!
Say ah! Say ah! Now spit!

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