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Dance: Ten, Looks: Three

(speaking)...but after a while I caught on. I mean, I saw what they were hiring. I also swiped my dance card once after an audition. On a scale of ten, they gave me, for dance: ten; for looks: three. Well!

Dance: ten, looks: three
And I'm still on unemployment
Dancing for my own enjoyment
That ain't it, kid
That ain't it kid
Dance: ten, looks: three
It's like to die!
Left the theater and called the doctor
For my appointment to buy

Tits and ass
Bought myself a fancy pair
Tightened up the derriere
Did the nose with it, all that goes with it
Tits and ass
Had the bingo-bongos done
Suddenly I'm getting national tours!
Tits and ass won't get you jobs
Unless they're yours!

Didn't cost a fortune neither
Didn't hurt my sex life, either

Flat and sassy
I would get the strays and losers
Beggars really can't be choosers
That ain't it kid
That ain't it kid
Fixed the chassis
"How do you do!"
Life turned into an endless medly of
"Gee, it had to be you!"

Tits and ass
Where the cupboard once was bare
Now you knock and someone's there
You have to have them, hey, top to bottom, hey!
It's a gas!
Just a dash of silicone
Shake your new moraccas and you're fine!
Tits and ass can change your life
They sure changed mine!

Have it all done!
Honey, take my word
Grab a cab, c'mon, see the wizard
On Park and Seventy-third

Tits and ass
Orchestra and balcony
What they want is what ya see
Keep the best of you, do the rest of you
Pits or class
I have never seen it fall
Debutante or chorus girl or wife
Tits and ass
Yes, tits and ass
Have changed my life!

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